Where did the year go?

I thought I would reflect on the last year - both the good and the bad and write out some of the things that happened.

January 2008: We had a couple of ice days in the city I live in and I couldn't get out of my neighborhood. My mother stayed at my place with me so I wouldn't have to be alone and bored. We played games and made a roast and drank lots of hot cocoa and hot tea. When we finally had to leave, we had to de-ice the cars. We don't live in a place that gets much snow or ice, so we don't really have to proper clothing or equipment. We laid out cardboard boxes to keep from sliding around too much and scraped the cars down. When we were finally done, our shoes were soaked through. We brought them inside and put them on the open oven door and let them cook dry while we played another game. It was a good memory!

February 2008: I had my 29th birthday with a really fun party! It was a girls-only party and no kids were there (except for a newborn baby who as of this week is living in Africa)! We had lasagna and an amazing salad that two of my friends made and a beautiful and yummy birthday cake. I had a wonderful time hanging out with the women that I love so much and that love me. One of the best parts is that my mother and both of my sisters got to come, too! I left that night feeling really blessed to have so many amazing women in my life!

March 2008: I started sensing transition, but wasn't sure what it would be. Things were pretty difficult financially and emotionally. I found out that I was having some kidney failure from the medication I was on for RA and had to change medication. Fortunately, my doctor caught this quickly and there was no permanent damage to my kidneys!

April 2008: Not only the sense of transition was on me, but the desire. I started praying about different areas of my life that could change and asking for willingness to make the decisions I needed. I got my spare bedroom cleaned and organized to the point that it was almost empty, except for my sewing stuff and the bed that was in it. My sister, Shawna, and I started restoring the bed that was in the spare room - I didn't know at the time that it was going to become MY bed! I really felt like to word the Lord had for me in this time was "restoration". I am still seeking more understanding of that, however I also feel like the Lord has brought a lot!

May 2008: The Blairs (the family I live with), asked me to move in with them sometime in the summer. Immediately a weight lifted from me and I felt like the Lord had created the window for both transition and restoration that He had been speaking to me. I started throwing stuff out that I didn't need, making plans for the things I wanted to take, and my heart was just ready to "let go" of all of the other stuff (furniture, clothing, dishes, etc.) that I had been carting around with me for the last many years. I started feeling freedom from things!

June 2008: As I was getting ready to move, I was very excited! I was even getting to help plan and decorate my new room while they were building it! But, every once in a while I just got overwhelmed with all of the things I was leaving. I started feeling a battle of the power of stuff! This month was also the time that one of my best friends decided she was going to move to California to go to school. I was very happy for her, knowing that it would be an amazing opportunity. I was sad for me! I didn't want her to leave! There was more transition happening than I was comfortable with, but I was reminded that the Lord had been preparing me.

July 2008: I packed up, I moved in, I slooooowly unpacked! Even with everything I gave away and threw away, I still had TOO much stuff to fit in one room! Transitioning was a lot harder than I expected! It had been a long time since I had lived with a roommate or family - and the relationship was very different! I was in this weird place of not knowing my place in the home. I didn't know what I was supposed to ask about vs. just doing. I didn't know if I was supposed to let them know where I was going to be or when I was going to be home. I didn't know what their expectations of me were in helping with their children. It was just hard. That was really the only word I had in my vocabulary for about 2-3 months that could define what it was like. It didn't mean it was bad - it just meant it wasn't easy and it wasn't comfortable! I was very grateful to be here, I just didn't really feel like I was "in" yet. In July, I also had my 3 year anniversary at work.

August 2008: I was still transitioning at home. I had a set-back with my RA and I started feeling very alone. Even though I have wonderful friends, many of which deal with illness or other very challenging life situations, none have RA. I started really feeling like none of them understand the fear, anxiety, or sadness that I experience when I think about this disease and what it has done and has the potential to do. I lost about 2 weeks of my life to being depressed and moping and then decided I needed to find a better outlet.

September 2008: As I said, I decided I needed to find a better outlet. I joined an online support resource. Later in the month, I started my blog. Sometimes it feels like I just started this a month ago and other times it feels like I have been blogging forever! I am very glad that I started it, though! I am excited to see where I go with it in the future! I also received a prophetic word in September that I am still praying about, but it has definitely had an impact on me.

October 2008: I started really feeling like I was a valued part of my small group. I started really looking forward to going and wanting to be prepared and ready to share and listen. I started feeling like it was a group of people that I had a stake in. This was also the month that my church had a really difficult event happen. For a while we were fearful that many people may leave because they were unhappy about something. With a lot of prayer, good leadership, and most importantly - God, we were able to get through it very well. I think our church got to experience healthy conflict and confrontation through humility, forgiveness, and grace! I think we are stronger, not weaker, after going through it!

November 2008: I started finally feeling settled in the house. My room started feeling like my space - and it was a peaceful space! I started feeling like I was learning my place and role in the house a little better. Thanksgiving was a little different for me this year. I usually go to the panhandle to be with my family, but this year I stayed here. My mother and one of my sister's and her husband were here too, so we did Thanksgiving together. It was very enjoyable!

December 2008: Everyone is preparing for Christmas. It seemed that everyone around me, including myself was more "on edge" than normal! This time of year really stresses me out! I think that for the most part we get so consumed with everything surrounding Christmas that we totally lose sight of what Christmas is supposed to be about. One thing that I did enjoy was celebrating Advent with the family I live with. On nights that we were all here, we would gather in the living room with all of the lights off. Each one of us had a candle burning. We would go around and each person got to choose a Christmas song to sing. We would start and end with a prayer and then everyone would blow out their candles. It was really neat to me! I have never done that. I think I have a new Christmas (Advent) tradition. I even did it when they were gone traveling. I would light their candles and then pray for each one of them before blowing that person's candle out. In December, additional progression of the RA was diagnosed - I was really disappointed! Christmas, itself was a great day with my family. It did not end great, however! I lost my temper and ended up being left to apologize and plea for mercy. It was probably my least gracious moment and started me into one of the most intense seasons of prayer that I think I have ever been in! It was amazing to me how quick God was to come when I cried out for Him! I still feel humbled when I think about it! Great is the love of the King of our souls!

January 2009: I brought in the New Year at the local House of Prayer. While I was there, I received prayer for healing from the physical pain I have been experiencing (specifically with my hands). The following Friday I received more prayer for healing from pain in my hands. I am ecstatic to say that healing has begun in my hands! I have had significantly less pain in my hands and a lot less inflammation! I promise it is not in my head - my jewelry will prove it! On New Years eve, while I was being prayed for, one of the girls had a vision of me laying on my bed and sleeping peacefully. The thought of sleeping peacefully was overwhelming to me, because I frequently wake many times in the night from my joints getting stiff or painful. I try not to take pain medications for sleeping, because they leave me feeling groggy and depressed the next day. That night, before I left a friend prayed again specifically for me to sleep well. That night I slept for 12 hours, uninterrupted, without any medication! I believe it is the power of the Spirit and healing that allowed that! I continue to feel a sense of transition and excitement. I have been in a very deep time of prayer and seeking God and I feel very blessed by it! I have great hope and expectation for the upcoming year!

There is a run-down of the last year. I wonder what all will happen this year?