Monday, June 29, 2009

An Update and Memorial

I have started writing several entries over the last few days, but haven't been able to complete one of them for various reasons. Here is an update.

On Wednesday, my best friends mother passed away. You may remember me mentioning her in a couple of my writings. She has been fighting a battle of recurrent ovarian cancer with metastasis for many years. The last few months have been quite rough! I will write more about this in a moment.

On Thursday, I had a Sozo - which had been scheduled for a couple of weeks. Sozo is the Greek word for saved, healed, or delivered. The point is to uncover places of (spiritual) lies and allow God's freedom in that place, ushering in healing. If you want more info about this type of prayer ministry, try going to I will write another entry on this at some point. Bottom line is that it was amazing! God is so great! The Spirit is so wonderful to carry us through the places of brokenness and offer good gifts for healing in place of devastation! Oh, He is just amazing!

Friday, I came back to work and had this mixed feeling - euphoria from Thursday and sorrow from the pain of losing such a wonderful woman who has impacted my life. I made it through the day. That night was the carnival at my church - it was great. My group served ice cream. It was so much fun to watch children and adult-children alike trying to decide which flavor was the "best"! It was wonderful! That must be what the first day working at Baskin Robbins feels like.

Saturday I slept in a bit and then had a slow morning doing laundry and preparing to leave to drive four hours for the funeral service. I left that afternoon and had a safe drive. I stayed the night with one of my best friends from college, Summer. I was once again reminded of the blessing of friendship! I was thinking about it - we are about to hit the eleven-year mark on when we met and became friends! How amazing! We have been through so much together and when we see each other now, we just pick up wherever we left off the last time we saw each other - no matter how long that may have been! Our friendship is a true treasure to me! That night we stayed up kind-of late and watched a movie and ate ice cream. How fun!

Then Sunday was Summer's birthday. It was so neat to get to be with her on her birthday! We went to church. The teacher in the Sunday school class had been one of my professors in college many years ago. It was so surreal to be back in a "teaching" environment with him! When I walked in and saw him I had this little flash-back to 9 years ago. It was really funny! After church and lunch, I had to leave to drive another hour further north to go to the funeral. It was lovely - if that is ok to say. I walked in and saw Lisa (that is my friend) - she came over to me with tears streaming and gave me a hug. It was so hard to see the pain that she was in, but I was very glad that I could be there to support her. After hugging her, I went to her dad to give him a hug - that was the really hard part! He said something to me that meant so much, though! He embraced me and started tearing up. Then he thanked me for being there and for my endurance in praying for Sue through this ordeal. It amazed me that this is the word he chose, because this is exactly the word (endurance) that I have been asking God for and asking others to be praying for me in this! God is so amazing to provide what we need and then to confirm that He has provided what we need! After the service was over, I shared my condolences with the family again and then headed back home.

Now, I am back home. I am tired, and I have this very odd mixture of joy and sadness still. I am very happy that Sue is no longer hurting or suffering. I am overjoyed that she is now with the ultimate love of her life! I am very sad that we did not see the miracle that we have been waiting and contending for! I am very sad that we have lost such a wonderfully amazing woman on this earth! She has not gone without leaving a legacy. She will be missed, though!

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

I Need Some Good News!

I'm feeling a bit discouraged today. I need some good news!

I look to the hills, where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth! He will not let my foot slip. He watches over me and does not slumber! He watches over Israel and neither slumbers or sleeps! The Lord watches over me; He is my shade at my right hand. The sun will not hurt me by day nor the moon by night. The Lord will keep me from all harm! He will watch over my life! The Lord watches my comings and goings all of my days. Psalm 121

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Just a Question

Why do they make fish oil that is strawberry flavored? And why did I buy it? I can promise you doesn't really taste all that strawberryish. What it actually tastes like is oil with a fishy flavor and a hint of strawberry. It doesn't really go! What was I thinking? It's not that bad - and it's only a teaspoon a day. I do think that I'm going to go for the lemon or orange flavor next time - I just think it might go with the already present fish flavor a little better!

Everything in life can be a learning experience, right?

Monday, June 15, 2009


I am ready for a collision; for a collision of the will of man and the will of heaven! I am ready for the Spirit of God to move so freely among mere men, that nothing stands in the way! I am ready for the glory of God to rise up and men to fall to their faces to worship the King who is worthy! I am ready for the dead to live and the sick to be well! I am ready!

I am tired of contending for things to happen that I already know to be the true desire of the only One who can make them happen! I am tired of waiting! It isn't because I don't think these things are worth waiting for - Oh no! Just the contrary! I believe the glory to God is all the greater the more impossible the feat. But in the waiting is so much anguish - and that is where I get lost! I don't want to get lost or caught up in myself! I just want to stay at the feet of my love and wait - with peace - for what I know He has promised will come!

Some may think I am crazy for even waiting - I am not! I know that the will of man and the will of God collide - and when it happens, there is beautiful rejoicing in both heaven and earth! I think about my friends Allison and Amy, who have both struggled for years to get pregnant with many difficulties. Yesterday, I was holding baby Willow (Allison's daughter) and praying for her while I was staring at Amy's ever expanding belly. I had to walk away for a moment because I was tearing up in gratefulness because both of these women are proof that healing and miracles happen! Yet while I rejoice in the collision that occurred for these dear friends, I long and wait expectantly for similar miracles for other friends!

I have several friends that wait to have babies, one of my best friends mother's is fading away as her body is tormented by cancer, I have a friend whose back is injured and we contend for his healing, several friends with various auto-immune diseases that are being affected by immune systems that are fighting healthy body tissues, and of course for my own healing. Everywhere I look, I see the proof and effects of living in a fallen world! I will not quit fighting or quit believing that the good of God can and will triumph! I am just so ready for the will of God and my own to collide!

I don't need God to work miracles to trust in His goodness or to know that He can do it! I want to see it happen because I believe in the depths of my being that He desires it to be that way! He desires that the captives be set free, that the sick are healed, that the lame walk, that the blind see, and that the deaf hear! And in it all, I desire that glory be given to the King of Kings, the Lord of Lords, the One True God!