Wednesday, January 28, 2009

25 Things About Me

I decided to take the challenge given to me several months ago by a friend on Facebook and write out 25 things about myself. I was going to do it then, but I got side-tracked and seemed to forget to come back to it. I saw a couple of them in the last day and remembered my attempt-gone-awry. After starting this, I logged into my FB account and there was another challenge for me to do this. Good thing I did it. Now I can just copy it over.

1. I love the Lord my God with all of my heart, soul, mind, and strength. The more I get to know Him, the more I love Him and the more I want to know Him!

2. I have a thing about oral hygiene. I brush my teeth a lot, carry dental floss with me, and can produce two options of toothpaste on queue.

3. There is always music in my head. It doesn't stop!

4. I have two sisters who are both married to wonderful men. I love my sisters and my brothers-in-law.

5. I used to match my clothes to hangers of the same (or similar) color and then hang them all in order from lights to darks, short sleeved shirts to long sleeved, skirts, slacks, dress shirts (short then long), then dresses. Now I have a really small closet and I have to smush everything in, so it goes long sleeved on the the left with dress shirts and short sleeved shirts on the right with skirts, slacks, and dresses. I no longer match my clothes to the hangers - it's first come first serve (most of the time.)

6. I love butterflies! They make me smile, laugh, and sometimes cry. They mean a lot to me and are beautiful!

7. I love projecty things - this weekend I am going to make lip balm!

8. I have 3 cats and they mean the world to me! They are my babies! Their names are Noelle, Cinnamon, and Truffle.

9. I don't like to take time to fix my hair because it is so soft and fine that it falls within 15 minutes of fixing it. I would rather just pull it back and look like a slob.

10. I like to use organic products. It makes me feel like I am making healthier choices and also contributing somehow to the bigger picture.

11. If it isn't convenient, I don't recycle. I do recycle most things at home, though. I also reuse things well.

12. I have a lot of food hang-ups. If you are going to go out to eat with me, just sit back for the ride. If you ask "why" too many times, you will be overwhelmed with my answers and it will discourage you from eating out with me in the future. Just trust that I know why I am asking for my salad with no dressing, the chicken to be prepared with no seasoning, and any sauces to be served on the side!

13. I love to play with children! I love how they laugh at themselves when they do something silly and how they just freely give affection! They are not tainted or inhibited. I truly believe that one of the ways to be closest to the presence of God on earth is to spend time with children! They are great!

14. I like to sleep in on Saturdays and stay in my pajamas all day long!

15. I am comfortable being alone. I am grateful for that because I haven't always been.

16. I am very sentimental. I hold onto seemingly insignificant things, because they mean something special to me!

17. I dream of one day having a yellow house with a vegetable garden.

18. If I could meet one person that has passed away, it would be my great grandfather; Papa Cogburn. I have heard a lot of really neat things about him and I think it would be great to get to spend some time with him.

19. I wrestle with fear - many different fears. My greatest one is probably that I will not live up to the full potential that God created me for!

20. When I was in the 5th grade I tried to change my name from MelonieLynn to Lynn because I wanted to simplify my name. My teacher wouldn't let me without a note from home saying that my parents would let me go by that name. In middle school I changed my name to Lynn just to prove that I could. (It didn't hurt that one of my friends was Melanie McB* and it made it easier for our teachers if I went by Lynn.)

21. I pray now that if I ever have children they don't have my streak of rebellion! I just don't know how I would handle it!

22. Overall, I consider myself to be a very blessed person and I am optimistic about my future!

23. I live with a family that I love very much! They are wonderful people and I can't imagine my life without them, now that they are in it!

24. I love to eat pancakes for dinner.

25. One of my favorite things to do is pray for my friends! I love to pray for blessings to fall on them and for them to receive dreams and visions of what the Lord has for them!

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Where did the Week Go?

I realized this morning that I haven't posted in a week. The past week has been filled with many activities...going to court, extra baby-sitting for the family I live with while Gary is in Africa, resting to get over the nasty sinus infection I have been fighting, running in many directions to keep up with the numerous activities and tasks that I am involved in. This past week just seems to have gotten away from me! Here it is, Tuesday morning and I feel like it should be (last) Friday! Where did the weekend go? I don't really remember it!

This week is my week for sharing my testimony. It is going to be on Thursday. I am mostly ready. I am still a little nervous! Prayers would be appreciated! I don't know why, but it is a little scary for me to share. It is also exciting - but definitely scary. What I do know is that God has done some pretty cool things in my life and I want that to come out! I want my gratitude for His mercy to show! I am still awed - to the point that I stop breathing for a couple of seconds and then finally just take in a really really deep breath - when I think about where I have been and how God stepped in and rescued me! My fingers get this tingling sensation that somehow finds its way up my arms and I remember how I am alive and it is because of God! I can't wait to share that! It can just be difficult to be vulnerable.

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Where did the year go?

I thought I would reflect on the last year - both the good and the bad and write out some of the things that happened.

January 2008: We had a couple of ice days in the city I live in and I couldn't get out of my neighborhood. My mother stayed at my place with me so I wouldn't have to be alone and bored. We played games and made a roast and drank lots of hot cocoa and hot tea. When we finally had to leave, we had to de-ice the cars. We don't live in a place that gets much snow or ice, so we don't really have to proper clothing or equipment. We laid out cardboard boxes to keep from sliding around too much and scraped the cars down. When we were finally done, our shoes were soaked through. We brought them inside and put them on the open oven door and let them cook dry while we played another game. It was a good memory!

February 2008: I had my 29th birthday with a really fun party! It was a girls-only party and no kids were there (except for a newborn baby who as of this week is living in Africa)! We had lasagna and an amazing salad that two of my friends made and a beautiful and yummy birthday cake. I had a wonderful time hanging out with the women that I love so much and that love me. One of the best parts is that my mother and both of my sisters got to come, too! I left that night feeling really blessed to have so many amazing women in my life!

March 2008: I started sensing transition, but wasn't sure what it would be. Things were pretty difficult financially and emotionally. I found out that I was having some kidney failure from the medication I was on for RA and had to change medication. Fortunately, my doctor caught this quickly and there was no permanent damage to my kidneys!

April 2008: Not only the sense of transition was on me, but the desire. I started praying about different areas of my life that could change and asking for willingness to make the decisions I needed. I got my spare bedroom cleaned and organized to the point that it was almost empty, except for my sewing stuff and the bed that was in it. My sister, Shawna, and I started restoring the bed that was in the spare room - I didn't know at the time that it was going to become MY bed! I really felt like to word the Lord had for me in this time was "restoration". I am still seeking more understanding of that, however I also feel like the Lord has brought a lot!

May 2008: The Blairs (the family I live with), asked me to move in with them sometime in the summer. Immediately a weight lifted from me and I felt like the Lord had created the window for both transition and restoration that He had been speaking to me. I started throwing stuff out that I didn't need, making plans for the things I wanted to take, and my heart was just ready to "let go" of all of the other stuff (furniture, clothing, dishes, etc.) that I had been carting around with me for the last many years. I started feeling freedom from things!

June 2008: As I was getting ready to move, I was very excited! I was even getting to help plan and decorate my new room while they were building it! But, every once in a while I just got overwhelmed with all of the things I was leaving. I started feeling a battle of the power of stuff! This month was also the time that one of my best friends decided she was going to move to California to go to school. I was very happy for her, knowing that it would be an amazing opportunity. I was sad for me! I didn't want her to leave! There was more transition happening than I was comfortable with, but I was reminded that the Lord had been preparing me.

July 2008: I packed up, I moved in, I slooooowly unpacked! Even with everything I gave away and threw away, I still had TOO much stuff to fit in one room! Transitioning was a lot harder than I expected! It had been a long time since I had lived with a roommate or family - and the relationship was very different! I was in this weird place of not knowing my place in the home. I didn't know what I was supposed to ask about vs. just doing. I didn't know if I was supposed to let them know where I was going to be or when I was going to be home. I didn't know what their expectations of me were in helping with their children. It was just hard. That was really the only word I had in my vocabulary for about 2-3 months that could define what it was like. It didn't mean it was bad - it just meant it wasn't easy and it wasn't comfortable! I was very grateful to be here, I just didn't really feel like I was "in" yet. In July, I also had my 3 year anniversary at work.

August 2008: I was still transitioning at home. I had a set-back with my RA and I started feeling very alone. Even though I have wonderful friends, many of which deal with illness or other very challenging life situations, none have RA. I started really feeling like none of them understand the fear, anxiety, or sadness that I experience when I think about this disease and what it has done and has the potential to do. I lost about 2 weeks of my life to being depressed and moping and then decided I needed to find a better outlet.

September 2008: As I said, I decided I needed to find a better outlet. I joined an online support resource. Later in the month, I started my blog. Sometimes it feels like I just started this a month ago and other times it feels like I have been blogging forever! I am very glad that I started it, though! I am excited to see where I go with it in the future! I also received a prophetic word in September that I am still praying about, but it has definitely had an impact on me.

October 2008: I started really feeling like I was a valued part of my small group. I started really looking forward to going and wanting to be prepared and ready to share and listen. I started feeling like it was a group of people that I had a stake in. This was also the month that my church had a really difficult event happen. For a while we were fearful that many people may leave because they were unhappy about something. With a lot of prayer, good leadership, and most importantly - God, we were able to get through it very well. I think our church got to experience healthy conflict and confrontation through humility, forgiveness, and grace! I think we are stronger, not weaker, after going through it!

November 2008: I started finally feeling settled in the house. My room started feeling like my space - and it was a peaceful space! I started feeling like I was learning my place and role in the house a little better. Thanksgiving was a little different for me this year. I usually go to the panhandle to be with my family, but this year I stayed here. My mother and one of my sister's and her husband were here too, so we did Thanksgiving together. It was very enjoyable!

December 2008: Everyone is preparing for Christmas. It seemed that everyone around me, including myself was more "on edge" than normal! This time of year really stresses me out! I think that for the most part we get so consumed with everything surrounding Christmas that we totally lose sight of what Christmas is supposed to be about. One thing that I did enjoy was celebrating Advent with the family I live with. On nights that we were all here, we would gather in the living room with all of the lights off. Each one of us had a candle burning. We would go around and each person got to choose a Christmas song to sing. We would start and end with a prayer and then everyone would blow out their candles. It was really neat to me! I have never done that. I think I have a new Christmas (Advent) tradition. I even did it when they were gone traveling. I would light their candles and then pray for each one of them before blowing that person's candle out. In December, additional progression of the RA was diagnosed - I was really disappointed! Christmas, itself was a great day with my family. It did not end great, however! I lost my temper and ended up being left to apologize and plea for mercy. It was probably my least gracious moment and started me into one of the most intense seasons of prayer that I think I have ever been in! It was amazing to me how quick God was to come when I cried out for Him! I still feel humbled when I think about it! Great is the love of the King of our souls!

January 2009: I brought in the New Year at the local House of Prayer. While I was there, I received prayer for healing from the physical pain I have been experiencing (specifically with my hands). The following Friday I received more prayer for healing from pain in my hands. I am ecstatic to say that healing has begun in my hands! I have had significantly less pain in my hands and a lot less inflammation! I promise it is not in my head - my jewelry will prove it! On New Years eve, while I was being prayed for, one of the girls had a vision of me laying on my bed and sleeping peacefully. The thought of sleeping peacefully was overwhelming to me, because I frequently wake many times in the night from my joints getting stiff or painful. I try not to take pain medications for sleeping, because they leave me feeling groggy and depressed the next day. That night, before I left a friend prayed again specifically for me to sleep well. That night I slept for 12 hours, uninterrupted, without any medication! I believe it is the power of the Spirit and healing that allowed that! I continue to feel a sense of transition and excitement. I have been in a very deep time of prayer and seeking God and I feel very blessed by it! I have great hope and expectation for the upcoming year!

There is a run-down of the last year. I wonder what all will happen this year?

Sunday, January 18, 2009

My Voice

Sometimes I find it hard to find my voice when writing. It isn't that I have nothing to say; it's quite the contrary. I have a lot to say and I just don't know how to possibly write it all. The last few weeks I have been experiencing this. So, I decided to start small by writing something. When I was in my creative writing class, we did an exercise where we wrote a list of whatever words came in one minute. I thought this might be interesting...let's see what happens!


What does it all mean? Here's the explanation.

My first thought was a turnip. I then thought of the plant flowering and how that can relate to prayer. The fruit that comes from an effort. Then it was gone and I thought of travel and how sometimes I am fearful of travel. Sometimes I respond to fear by throwing tantrums. God responds with grace and love and peace and his angels are present. Then I thought, "wouldn't it be great to have more grace, love, peace, and angels present in American lives?" Something was cooking on the stove and smelled like paper. I looked back at the computer screen as my "paper". Then I heard a song playing in the background. I started wondering if there may be a story in the making. Then I thought, "this is a pretty odd list." When I started writing odd, I accidentally wrote "off". I erased it and wrote odd, followed by off. For some reason a yellow canary popped into my head and I just wrote canary. I thought, "that's off topic." I had already written off, so I wrote topic. Then I wondered, "is canary connected in any way to anything else I have thought of?" The song playing in the background had the word holy and it stuck. A child went stomping by. Then I thought of Holy flame and stomping out a flame. A moment later, I thought of honouring one's parents - when I thought of honour, I also thought of gentle and kind. Then, my mind went blank for a moment. I thought. I was thinking. My stomach growled. I am hungry. I need to tame my hunger. A lion also gets tamed. They are soft and I saw the light glittering through a mane. Today I was playing with some floam that had glitter in it. I made a butterfly. It got broken and I was sad. I was with a friend and I started teasing about re-metamorphoses. It was good. I enjoyed the conversation! Dancing is also good. There was dancing at the retreat I was on. There was dancing at the last two retreats I have been on. It has changed me. I aspire to change more. I also aspire to see great things for my city. I have visions of bridges for my city. Bridges that allow the Spirit to flow. The timer went off.

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

The Questions

My friend, Cortney, asked a few questions of me to answer and post on my blog. Here are the answers.

1. If you could live anywhere in the world but you could never leave, where would it be?
That's a really hard question. I think that I would probably stay right where I live right now. Maybe I would choose for a few things to be different, but for the most part I love where I live! I love the city I live in and I believe I was called here for a purpose. I wouldn't want to leave until that purpose is accomplished!

2. What was your favorite toy as a kid?
My favorite toy when I was little was my "Sit 'N Spin" It was blue and I would play on it for hours! It went in the sand box, on the grass next to the sand box, next to the swimming pool, on the trampoline (that was an interesting one). I played with it until I had wayyyy outgrown it and my parents finally took it away and got rid of it when I was not looking! I loved how I had to work pretty hard to get going, but ahhhh the thrill of the dizziness that ensued when I actually got up to speed! I saw one of these amazing little toys at a friends house not that long ago - she got it for her son. They don't seem to be as sturdy as they used to, but they still look like fun!

3. Who has made the most impact on your life?
There are a lot of people that have made a big impact on me. I think that one of those people is my friend, Olivia. She has walked through some very difficult things and has been able to turn her circumstances over to God. Her story has been one of pain and surrender and redemption; understanding that we will never be able to understand some things in life but that God is still good and still sovereign. I know this has not been easy for her - and is more difficult at some times than others. In fact, seeing how she has walked through some things in her life has really been an inspiration and encouragement to me in walking through some of the tough times in mine.

4. What are you most proud of?
This is not a question that I contemplate too often, so it has been one of the more difficult ones to answer. I think that the thing I am most proud of is that I treasure my friendships and relationships above being right. I know that I am often wrong and that even when I feel I am right, other's may have a very valid opinion that differs from mine. I think this is something that has grown and changed over time, but that I have seen a lot of value in.

5. What are your top 3 favorite CDs?
This is REALLY hard! I have a song for every occasion, so to narrow down my top 3 CDs is like asking me to restrict my breathing to one breath a minute for the rest of the day. OK - maybe it isn't that drastic, but you get the point! I would have to say 1) Misty Edwards, Relentless 2) Third Day, Offerings 3) Delirious, Access: d (You can find some of my favorites on these CDs, but this is by no means a complete list! You can also get a good idea by listening to my playlist on my blog.)

Now that you know more about me, let me know if you want me to send you some questions!
Leave me a comment saying, "Interview me." I will respond by sending you five questions that I pick out for you. You will update your blog with the answers to the questions. At the end, include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will get to ask them five questions.

Friday, January 9, 2009


I don't know that words even begin to describe the feeling. There is a piece of me that feels broken and emptied out. I feel as though everything around me that keeps going is a mockery to the emptiness inside of me. I trust in God, but that doesn't mean I understand everything that happens or am ok with it. Loss hurts and often seems unjustified. It feels very wrong!

Still I cry out, be still my soul. Rest in the hands of God, your maker. Know that He is sovereign. He is good. He is in control! He knows pain and loss more closely that I. He is close to the broken-hearted. He is near! Spirit, be my comfort! Draw me under your wing, great God! Blow your gentle breath upon me and give me what I need. You, God, are the lover of my soul. I rest in you!

Monday, January 5, 2009


I never stop being amazed at what God is capable of. I don't begin to understand when or why or how He moves and maybe the mystery is part of the amazement.

Thursday, January 1, 2009

The Rest of the Day

In relation to my earlier post, I haven't had a chance to even look up the directions on how to include an MP3 in a post. Since it is now officially tomorrow, I am not worrying about getting it done today - it will happen when it happens!

Right after I posted, I got a call from a friend and left as soon as I got my stuff together. She is 32 weeks pregnant and because of bleeding, has been ordered onto bedrest for the second time in this pregnancy. I stopped by the market to get dinner for her family and then went over to keep her company for a little bit and to pray for her and her unborn daughter, Willow. I was honored to have the opportunity to pray for them and to speak blessings into Willow, before she has even been born. I just wish that it wasn't stimulated by concern!

After spending some time with her and her family, I left and went to our local House of Prayer for worship and prayer for the city. It was great! The worship was amazing, the teaching was great, and the prayer time was truly inspired! God never ceases to amaze me. Even when I am angry at Him and tossing around huge questions, He is close!

It is late - or early- and I need to go to bed. God, thank you for being close to the broken-hearted. You know all of the events, the ups and the downs of the past week and I thank you that you are close! Continue to speak your blessing and understanding and help me to keep my eyes on you. You are the source of my affection!