Healing...

Healing is exactly what I am crying out for!

Please stick with me for a moment while I complain and explain.  And then I will move on.

I have a growing list of food allergies (about 32 at current count), multiple auto-immune disorders, and am about 120 pounds overweight.  I am constantly fatigued, feel as though my brain is always going at light-speed in 40 different directions, and sustain myself on a VERY limited diet.  For years now, my diet has been almost 100% gluten, dairy, yeast, preservative, and egg free.  This past year peanuts, mushrooms, strawberries, a multitude of spices, and several different types of fish got added into that mix.  I even had to go without lettuce...yes I did just say lettuce...for six months and can now sporadically eat it with limited problems.

In an attempt to manage and reduce food allergies, I have done restricted, elimination, and rotation diets.  In hope that my body would "reset", I even attempted a vegan diet...for about two weeks.  But I soon realized that due to hunger and low blood sugar I was pretty much chewing up and spitting out every person that crossed my path, so I abandoned this experiment.  

Through all of this, my food allergy list has grown, my diet has become more limited, and my weight has stayed the same.

I try to prepare most of my meals at home, from scratch to monitor the ingredients I am using.  Going out to eat is ALWAYS an adventure, so I tend to not stray from the places I know.  Whenever I do choose to go out, I feel like a super-pest because I am asking for a manager, requesting my food to be prepared in a separate pan with no seasonings, no sauces, and a very watchful eye to ensure that nothing touches it that could possibly contaminate it with a single speck of gluten, msg, peanuts, or any other enemies of my immune system.  Then when I get my food, I carefully inspect it to make sure I don't see any possible culprits for anaphylaxis, eczema, migraines, or wrenching stomach pains.  After confirming that everything was prepared just so, I PRAY PRAY PRAY that I will not have any food reactions this time.

I am not content! I do not like things the way they are.  I want something different!

There are so many amazing and wonderful things about myself and in my life that I LOVE.  But there are these few things that on occasion just leave me feeling absolutely, utterly, overwhelmingly DEFEATED!

And the only response that I have is to cry out to Jesus for healing to materialize.  I ask for more faith to expect to see the revolutionary, transforming power of God in my life!  I look to Him and declare that on my own I am weak, helpless, and so very desperately in need of seeing, feeling, and hearing His love for me!  I know that I carry in me the most powerful and amazing thing in this world!  I carry the power of Christ.  

I know there are so many of us who are crying out for healing for one thing or another, so I ask the Lord to pour it down on us!   For myself, I ask for healing from food issues, a wonky immune system, and the fear that I will somehow never be everything that the Lord created me to be.  For ALL of the brokenness in my life, I ask; because I NEED HEALING!